He's been in my dreams a lot for several weeks, but last night's dream was of God granting me what my subconscious has been wishing for since my dad passed.
In my dream I begged and pleaded for just one more day with my Dad.
It started out so very sad with so much praying.
And the next thing I knew, my family was back in Cancun on the beach - one of my personal favorites of our family vacations.Dad was lying on a towel on the sand, although when we were actually on vacation there were lounging chairs. In my dream he was lying on right side, his right hand supporting his head from his elbow in the sand. His soft, fine, salt & pepper (more salt these days) hair blowing a bit in the breeze and he's laughing. A big, hard belly laugh.
And we're all there. Me, my brothers and my mom. And we're telling "remember the time" stories. We're all laughing. It is warm, it is peaceful, and the only thing I hear is so much laughing - my dad's deep laugh sounding above all the others. His head tosses back in bouts of laughter, and his left hand slices the air as he dramatically recounts stories.
And then all of a sudden dad starts to decline. I scream, "No! Don't take him yet. I wanted a whole day!" Apparently I forgot to clarfiy that I wanted the full 24-hours, not just the morning or afternoon or whatever time of day it was on the beach. I was trying to tell my dad to wait. I was screaming at God that it wasn't time yet.
I was losing my dad, again, and I couldn't stop it.
And then I hear crying.
It's my infant from the pack-and-play at the foot of the bed.
For the first time in a long time, I'm thankful to awake in the middle night *again* with my son.
That interruption allowed my pillow to stay dry, for last night, anyway.
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