Winds of Change

I had planned to sleep in this morning. I went to bed early, right after my kids last night because of pure exhaustion. At eight months pregnant, I am tired physically.

I woke up to the sound of the toilet lid slamming shut. I planned to investigate, but by the time I could get myself propped up enough in bed to stand up, the pitter-patter of size 12 girl feet had sounded back to her room. "Good, she's going back to sleep," I thought. "She needs it."

I decided to get up anyway. I walked into the hall and that's when I heard it. Unbelievably loud howling. It's the winds of change barking at my door...again.

Everything around me is evolving, which isn't entirely bad. With change comes so much good. Like the change of seasons. Soon the grass will be green, my flowers will be up, and the sun will be here more often than not. That is good change.

At the same time, my work is in flux. People are retiring, an important program has been stripped, and there is going to need to be restructure, development and a lot of change. I work in communications, so that usually means that I get the job of trying to make sense of what's going on, and then help communicate that so everyone else understands what's going on. I've been doing that nonstop for two weeks and I have to admit I'm a little burned out from it all.

I just found out that my last trip home with the kids last year was actually my last trip home...ever. My parents are having their sale at the end of April, to be out of my childhood home by mid-May. Thanks to an impending birth, I will not be able to assist in any of it, or say goodbye to "my house" as I originally had been planning. I am sad about this, even though it's "just a house."

My husband and I have decided that as this new little one joins our family, that we will be complete. We can't afford, nor do we have enough hands or mental stamina, to take care of any more children at this point! So, as of today, we are making that decision official at a doctor's office. I am glad to be at this point, but it is an interesting turning point in our lives. Suddenly, I feel old.

And the kids. My goodness. Changes every day. I'm so blessed to witness them, but I kind of miss the "Dora" days with Kaitlynn and even sometimes the days before Grady expressed his opinion so boldly! :)

There's so much more going on, but basically the point is, everywhere I turn, change is happening around me. And for once, I'm not the stimulus making the decisions on any of this change. It's generally easier being the change agent.

In the midst of my mind-chaos yesterday, I had a delivery to my desk. I had placed my very first lia sophia order a little while back. A friend at work had a party I couldn't attend, but I saw this beautiful necklace in the catalog. It was small and not expensive, so I decided to treat myself with some of my Scentsy money. It is something I've wanted for a very long time, but just couldn't ever find quite what I was looking for.

Then it arrived yesterday afternoon. My beautiful sparkling silver necklace with a little cross dangling from it. It reminds me a little bit (only shinier) of one my mom used to wear. I put it on immediately.

Because of the timing, I am certain it was a message. As we are in the middle of Easter season, I'm to remember the changes and sacrifices Jesus made for me, and really, HE has my back. I'm not lost in a sea of change - in fact everything is happening the way it should, even if it feels like chaos now. It's several new opportunities for life lessons and I better enjoy the ride because no one knows when that ride comes to an end for themselves.

And as I finish this blog, I am noticing that things have calmed considerably outside...coincidence?