Dad,
I really miss you today.
I miss you every day, but as of late it is even more than usual. I miss talking to you. There is so much going on and I just feel like I need a conversation with you for some different perspective and insight. I know I'll see you again, but patience is not my strength. God has given me so many ways for me to work on that.
I wish we could have you back.
I wish you never had to leave.
I wish I could get used to the fact that you are gone.
Too bad I wish for such impossible wishes.
I love you.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Go 'way gumpa
So my two-year-old loves sing-song silly games. Our most popular right now is "MY mommy" and "Go Away." Either way, my son loves to start the games, "MY mah-mmmeeeee." And you echo him back in the same way, to the same ryhthm, "My Coopeeeee." Repeat -- over and over and over. He loves it.
It is the same with "Go Away." "Go-WAY-Mommeee!" "Go-WAY-CoopEEEE!" Over and over and over.
Tonight as I was changing his diaper, he smiled at me and started the "Go-WAY" game. He giggled and smiled at me the whole time we exchanged "Go-WAYs" in the familiar sing-song rhythm.
After about 6 times each, he turned his head away from me to look towards the bathroom door.
"Go-WAY ???" I couldn't make out what he said.
I asked "What?" And he looked at me momentarily, but I was interrupting him, so he turned his head back to the door and said clearly "Go-WAY Gumpa!"
Quiet. Then again, "Go-WAY Gumpa!" I was dazed by this and didn't say anything at first, then another "Go-WAY Gumpa!" he said with a big smile aimed at the door.
The empty bathroom and empty hallway through the door.
"Are you saying Go-WAY-Grandpa?"
"Uh-huh!"
"Where is Grandpa?"
"House."
"Grandpa is in our house?"
"Yep!"
Then with a big smile he said "Peeee-yeeewwww" regarding the diaper I just finished changing and he was ready to run back outside.
It was strange to say the least, but amazingly cool at the same time. Of course, he can have a very active imaginary mind at 2 . . . but I honestly think that Cooper decided "Go-WAY" is more fun to play with Grandpa Chuck, even if he isn't "here."
It is the same with "Go Away." "Go-WAY-Mommeee!" "Go-WAY-CoopEEEE!" Over and over and over.
Tonight as I was changing his diaper, he smiled at me and started the "Go-WAY" game. He giggled and smiled at me the whole time we exchanged "Go-WAYs" in the familiar sing-song rhythm.
After about 6 times each, he turned his head away from me to look towards the bathroom door.
"Go-WAY ???" I couldn't make out what he said.
I asked "What?" And he looked at me momentarily, but I was interrupting him, so he turned his head back to the door and said clearly "Go-WAY Gumpa!"
Quiet. Then again, "Go-WAY Gumpa!" I was dazed by this and didn't say anything at first, then another "Go-WAY Gumpa!" he said with a big smile aimed at the door.
The empty bathroom and empty hallway through the door.
"Are you saying Go-WAY-Grandpa?"
"Uh-huh!"
"Where is Grandpa?"
"House."
"Grandpa is in our house?"
"Yep!"
Then with a big smile he said "Peeee-yeeewwww" regarding the diaper I just finished changing and he was ready to run back outside.
It was strange to say the least, but amazingly cool at the same time. Of course, he can have a very active imaginary mind at 2 . . . but I honestly think that Cooper decided "Go-WAY" is more fun to play with Grandpa Chuck, even if he isn't "here."
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Well, we tried . . . becoming a family motto
I giggled to myself in my head as I was about to hit send on my email to our team at work.
". . .will be leaving a little early so we can get on the road for a family weekend get-away."
Ha, ha. . . Tuesday my oldest had to stay home with a fever and incessant, barking cough. I had be doing nasal flushes morning and night, keeping the humidifiers going and trying to nurse her back to good enough health to be around others by weekend.
Then came an email response, "Have a great time and don't think about work for a minute." Ahhh, and there it is again. A robust laughter in my head. Not only do I not have a job that I can walk away from for an entire weekend, but little did she know that early that day I received a call from daycare saying that my youngest had thrown up a little first thing in the morning. I attributed it to his downing three cups of juice before heading to daycare and his zealous way of playing when he gets there. But I still wondered all day. Just because daycare didn't call the rest of the day didn't mean we were totally in the clear.
I was really looking forward to this weekend. My mom, all three brothers, sister-in-law and niece and nephew, two aunts and uncles and cousins. . . this just rarely happens. And I have been in need of an attitude adjustment and break.
When I picked up my kids on Thursday afternoon from daycare, there was a note that just before I got there my youngest had a really yucky diaper. But then he was fine all night. The next morning, I thought he looked a little pale, but otherwise he seemed OK. At 11 a.m. I had a message that he was at 101.6, wasn't himself and needed to go home. My husband picked him up and the debate began.
Do we cancel our trip and wait to see what happens? Do we go for the first night and see how it goes and come home the next day if we need to? Will we once again be bringing sickness to the party for everyone to share -- seems to be the case all the time.
Baby took a nap and we decided to try it. We were determined to try to have a relaxing getaway weekend since they come so seldom.
And as I type, here goes that brain laughter again, this time slightly more sarcastic.
Our weekend in fast forward:
*locked hotel door in frigid temps with 3 little ones
* baby with fever and nasty diapers (Friday only)
* a first evening of visiting with no one as we chased kids all night
* less than desirable amounts of sleep for all parties
* a daughter whose skin literally gets burned from the pool chemicals -- perpetuating a weekend of tears and pain, with some freaking out. A week of red, painful skin ensues.
* a Saturday with very limited time spent with family for the swimming and chasing of kids
* being drenched by projectile vomit by the middle child in the afternoon of Saturday, followed by hours of sitting in the room with him -- a final puke close to midnight, in the bed, so slept on towels on the bed
*arguing for husband and me because we're both tired, stressed and not communicating worth crap when you're constantly headed in different directions
* two hours of work in the car
* laundry, unpacking, organizing for the week ahead upon arrival home with very little energy to accomplish it . . .it sits half done as I type holding baby wishing for an early bedtime for all.
I love, love, love my family. I am grateful for the collective 20 minutes of talk time I got with my mom over the weekend, the few minutes I had to interact with the other little ones of the group, the hour+ with my little bros after everyone else went to bed, and the 60-second conversations with everyone else. . .
Now I think I need a few weekends to catch up from the relaxing family getaway weekend.
Insert hysterical head laughter here.
". . .will be leaving a little early so we can get on the road for a family weekend get-away."
Ha, ha. . . Tuesday my oldest had to stay home with a fever and incessant, barking cough. I had be doing nasal flushes morning and night, keeping the humidifiers going and trying to nurse her back to good enough health to be around others by weekend.
Then came an email response, "Have a great time and don't think about work for a minute." Ahhh, and there it is again. A robust laughter in my head. Not only do I not have a job that I can walk away from for an entire weekend, but little did she know that early that day I received a call from daycare saying that my youngest had thrown up a little first thing in the morning. I attributed it to his downing three cups of juice before heading to daycare and his zealous way of playing when he gets there. But I still wondered all day. Just because daycare didn't call the rest of the day didn't mean we were totally in the clear.
I was really looking forward to this weekend. My mom, all three brothers, sister-in-law and niece and nephew, two aunts and uncles and cousins. . . this just rarely happens. And I have been in need of an attitude adjustment and break.
When I picked up my kids on Thursday afternoon from daycare, there was a note that just before I got there my youngest had a really yucky diaper. But then he was fine all night. The next morning, I thought he looked a little pale, but otherwise he seemed OK. At 11 a.m. I had a message that he was at 101.6, wasn't himself and needed to go home. My husband picked him up and the debate began.
Do we cancel our trip and wait to see what happens? Do we go for the first night and see how it goes and come home the next day if we need to? Will we once again be bringing sickness to the party for everyone to share -- seems to be the case all the time.
Baby took a nap and we decided to try it. We were determined to try to have a relaxing getaway weekend since they come so seldom.
And as I type, here goes that brain laughter again, this time slightly more sarcastic.
Our weekend in fast forward:
*locked hotel door in frigid temps with 3 little ones
* baby with fever and nasty diapers (Friday only)
* a first evening of visiting with no one as we chased kids all night
* less than desirable amounts of sleep for all parties
* a daughter whose skin literally gets burned from the pool chemicals -- perpetuating a weekend of tears and pain, with some freaking out. A week of red, painful skin ensues.
* a Saturday with very limited time spent with family for the swimming and chasing of kids
* being drenched by projectile vomit by the middle child in the afternoon of Saturday, followed by hours of sitting in the room with him -- a final puke close to midnight, in the bed, so slept on towels on the bed
*arguing for husband and me because we're both tired, stressed and not communicating worth crap when you're constantly headed in different directions
* two hours of work in the car
* laundry, unpacking, organizing for the week ahead upon arrival home with very little energy to accomplish it . . .it sits half done as I type holding baby wishing for an early bedtime for all.
I love, love, love my family. I am grateful for the collective 20 minutes of talk time I got with my mom over the weekend, the few minutes I had to interact with the other little ones of the group, the hour+ with my little bros after everyone else went to bed, and the 60-second conversations with everyone else. . .
Now I think I need a few weekends to catch up from the relaxing family getaway weekend.
Insert hysterical head laughter here.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Soooooo over it
I'm going on the record.
I am sick of poop. Diapers, potty training, the like. I still have a long ways to go until I can say I'm officially done with either . . . but I am SOOOO over these items.
Few things in my life have been this exhausting, disgusting and expensive.
All the laundry, all the diapers, all the cleaning carpets, furniture, etc.
Golden will be the day when this too has passed.
I am sick of poop. Diapers, potty training, the like. I still have a long ways to go until I can say I'm officially done with either . . . but I am SOOOO over these items.
Few things in my life have been this exhausting, disgusting and expensive.
All the laundry, all the diapers, all the cleaning carpets, furniture, etc.
Golden will be the day when this too has passed.
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